It is almost midnight, and you are sound asleep with no care or worries. I love that, I love the fact you know you are safe here with me. Not everyone gets to experience the role of a mother and my heart will forever go out to them because I know because of you I am me and not 2015 me drunk in a frat basement but me who puts on a uniform kicks ass in all things to make sure I never produce a subpar product that I must explain to you. I do not want to let you down ever and you do not even know what I do yet, but it Is all for you. I have always been so fascinated by the idea of love and how one day my prince charming would come swoop down and I would just be fixed every insecurity every pain I felt just erased from his kiss and then I would be so beautiful that he would never look at another and he would be so devoted to me and Christ that I would never worry, and it happened 2018 the love of my life swooped down but I wasn’t healed my insecurities grew and I was in competition with the world I was loved properly but everything I learned to defend and shield myself hadn’t gone away it became me. Then you came my love in 2020 well 2019 you started to grow,and I had to grow up too. I was learning to love your dad the best I knew how while he was learning to love me, we were kids then with vastly different ideas on how love should be shown and how it should be received? Not only were we wrong but we were proud in our ways, yet we knew we lovedeach other no matter what but how do you love someone when you are incapable of expressing feelings or seeing another viewpoint how do you love when your defense mechanisms are your security blanket... do you continue when someone is unwillingto change? The answer is yes times a million times because we did and that is how we are here in 2021 with a one-year-oldproduct of pure love! You are standing wobbling and starting to talk. You are so smart that you repeat everything and retain the actual meaning of what you're doing. Overall, I am blessed to be your mom! I would not want to be anyone else, Happy Birthday my dearest Eliana never stop reaching for the stars.
Comments